


'Cause I've a weak heart, baby

by peculiairyties (ItsAiryBro)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack, Established Relationship, Humor, Kuroo suffers, M/M, Mentions of Blood, post-oral surgery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:00:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22597471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsAiryBro/pseuds/peculiairyties
Summary: “How did that go?” he asks, and Daichi's smile gets wider, wide enough to expose the gap where he’d lost his molar. It’s so adorable Kuroo feels his heart squeeze a little.Then Daichi opens his mouth and a gob of bloody saliva falls out.-Daichi gets his wisdom teeth removed. Kuroo gets to play chaperone.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Sawamura Daichi
Comments: 30
Kudos: 146





	'Cause I've a weak heart, baby

Daichi emerges from the surgery room grinning brightly and holding both his cheeks. Kuroo walks over to collect him and listen to any post-surgery instructions the doctors might have.

Once that's done, he gently takes Daichi by the elbow and leads him out of the clinic, trying not to smile too much as Daichi leans on him heavily with a big, dopey smile.

“How did that go?” he asks, and Daichi's smile gets wider, wide enough to expose the gap where he’d lost his molar. It’s so adorable Kuroo feels his heart squeeze a little.

Then Daichi opens his mouth and a gob of bloody saliva falls out.

Kuroo's face morphs from Aww to OH FUCK. 

“Shit, shit,” he mutters, grabbing tissues from his pocket to mop up the spillage—luckily it had only fallen on his own shirt and not on the floor.

“Kurooooooooooo,” Daichi says. “I can't feel my tong.”

Kuroo chuckles through his disgust. “I bet.”

“Ye,” Daichi sticks his tongue out—it is also red with leftover blood. “Loof if wwiffes,” he says, wiggling it around as Kuroo dumps the bloody tissues in the nearest trash can.

“...Sure,” Kuroo spares him a quick glance and a smile before he starts checking his bag to see if he has more tissues.

“ _ Loof, _ ” Daichi says louder, grabbing his sleeve and yanking till he and his numb tongue have Kuroo’s full attention.

“That’s fantastic, Daichi!” Kuroo gives him a placating smile and takes him by the elbow again to continue walking. He spares an amused glance every so often for Daichi's blissed out smile (and also to make sure he doesn’t accidentally trip and fall on his face).

Daichi puts his tongue back in when they’re almost out of the clinic. “I got balls in my mouth,” he says, and Kuroo snorts. Daichi reaches inside his mouth but kuroo catches him before he can pull the cotton out.

“Daichi, no!”

“But I wanna show you!” Daichi whines. “I got balls in my mouth and they feel funny.” 

“It'll stop feeling that way soon, okay?” Kuroo puts an arm around him when he begins to veer away.

“Kurooooooooooo.” Daichi leans on him enough that Kuroo almost topples over. “Let me show you my ballssssss.”

Kuroo is sure he’s going to die—if not from mortification, then from asphixiation because he is laughing so hard he can’t breathe. Daichi looks very confused and Kuroo has tears running down his face. People give them a wide berth.

Finally, Kuroo is able to take a few gasping breaths. “Daichi, baby, you can show me your balls in the car, okay?" he says, and Daichi nods obediently. Kuroo shores them both upright again and starts walking just a little bit faster. They were almost to the parking lot. Just a little bit more—

“Kurooo!!! Oh my god!!”

Kuroo turns in alarm, heart in his mouth, when Daichi breaks away from him and kneels on the floor. “Daichi, what—”

“Look!” Daichi says, holding up a 5 yen coin. “It's SO SMALL.”

“Damn, it’s tiny,” Kuroo says, trying to haul his boyfriend upright again but Daichi is practically dead weight—too entranced with his little discovery. 

“Kuroo you don’t get it,” Daichi wails, looking at him with wide eyes. His speech is slurred thanks to local anesthesia and Kuroo is trying his best not to start laughing again because he’s not sure if he can survive another round. “KUROO IT’S SO SMALL.”

“I know it is, Daichi," Kuroo tugs again, and this time Daichi rises, the coin held next to his heart. 

Then he starts sobbing.

“What's wrong?” Kuroo asks, kneeling next to him in a panic. “What's wrong? Does anything hurt?”

Daichi slowly shakes his head, big blubbering tears rolling out of his eyes. “He's DEAD.”

Kuroo stops short. “Uh?”

Daichi thrusts the coin into Kuroo's face. "HE'S DEAD!!!! I WAS TOO LATE TO SAVE HIM!"

There's two teenagers giggling at them. A middleaged woman with a toddler gives him a sympathetic look. “Daichi, it's a coin. It's not alive.”

“Yeah, NOT ANYMORE,” Daichi wails, hugging the coin to his chest again. "Someone shot him!! They put a hole in him, and now he’s dead!!”

Kuroo has  _ tears _ in his eyes from trying to keep the laughter in at the sight of his boyfriend having a meltdown in front of the clinic over a fucking 5 yen coin. A part of him that sounds suspiciously like Suga tells him to get his phone out to record it, but he swats the thought away and instead hauls him up to his feet. It's a struggle and a half, but Daichi lets himself be pulled into Kuroo’s arms, where he freely leaks tears, snot, and bloody drool.

Kuroo cringes from the feel of wetness against his chest but puts on a comforting smile for Daichi’s sake. “Give me the coin, Daichi, I'll revive him,” he says, and Daichi shakes his head (smearing more tears and snot). “Come on, don't you trust me?” he wheedles, pulling his wallet out behind Daichi’s back and getting a 10 yen coin.

Daichi blinks at him blearily, and Kuroo just puts his wallet in Daichi’s pocket when he steps back. He holds out one hand and Daichi gingerly deposits the coin in Kuroo's cupped palm. Kuroo puts his hands together in a praying motion, switches out the 5 yen for the 10 yen, and prays that Daichi can't pick out the difference in colour or size. Then he opens his hands again and presents Daichi with the nice, alive coin with no hole. “See! He's alive again.”

Daichi yells, grabbing the coin out of Kuroo's hand and pressing it to his cheek. “HE'S ALIVE!!!!”

An odd, inhuman noise that sounds like an aborted snort comes tearing through Kuroo’s pursed lips as he feels his heart almost give out with the sheer amount of love he has for this ridiculous man.

“I’m going to call him Tetsu,” Daichi rambles, rubbing the coin against the entirety of his cheek. “Tetsu, after you, because you saved him and gave him to me. now he'll always remind me of you. Heehee.”

Kuroo wants to Yell, and then Scream, and then Yell some more, because Daichi is being So Cute and he doesn’t know how to handle it.

He settles for saying “I'm so glad,” and grabs Daichi's hand to lead him back to the car.

“Kuroo, can we get ice-cream? The doctor said I should eat ice cream. Can we get 5 tubs of icecream?”

Kuroo settles Daichi in the car and puts his seatbelt on for him before going back to the driver’s side. “If the doctor said you should eat ice cream, we should listen to the doctor.”

“Nice. Hey we're in the car, does this mean I can show you the balls in my mouth?”

“Daichi honey that's really not—”

Daichi has already pulled one of the blood and saliva soaked cotton balls out of his mouth. A long string of bloody spittle falls on the car seat. Kuroo gapes. 

Daichi peers at the ball. “There's a dent the shape of my tooth,” he slurs, looking way too excited. “Neat!”

Kuroo sighs and wipes the blood off the seat. "Neat." He smiles.

He's going to have to disinfect the whole damn car.

\--

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this like a whole year ago. Idek bruh. i d e k  
> Title from that Zara Larsson song.  
> Kudos/comments appreciated! Find me on my (18+) [twitter](https://twitter.com/ItsAiryBro/status/1225298098957824000), I yell about KuroDai a lot.


End file.
